Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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