wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
