i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
