Heybabeimwearingurpanties
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
