I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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