and you said cock pushups were impossible
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
