Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
