i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
