Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
