If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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