return my video game
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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