Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
