you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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