Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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