We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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