Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
