Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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