Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize