i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
