i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
