Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
