that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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