he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
