if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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