I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
