Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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