hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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