just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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