oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
