i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Randomize
