Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize