He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
