So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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