Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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