i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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