The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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