tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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