I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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