No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
