It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
