Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize