One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
