I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
What drink are we having for lunch?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
