what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
