i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
this will be a night to untag.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
