You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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