They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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