OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
