The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize