suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Dignity is for republicans.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
