i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize