This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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