my cup is half full, half full of rum.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
