fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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