I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Boobs are out for the taking
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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