Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Randomize
