Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
