Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
