at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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