Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize