Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
my poor anus
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
