Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
