Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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