You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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