giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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