he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize