I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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